Unraveling Knots

"And then she understood the devilish cunning of the enemies' plan. By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lie far stronger" ~ The Last Battle C.S. Lewis

Far too long I've been believing my life doesn't matter.  Far too long I've forgotten that I'm not in this game of life alone.  I'm still incredibly gun shy, but I believe there is a reason for everything I've endured just as I believe there is a reason we all go through hardships.

A verse that comes to mind over and over again from the time that I was a young Christian is:

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." ~ Galatians 1:10

Man, I'm a bad people pleaser.  Not as bad as I use to be, but it still seems to be an innate trait that won't go away.  I want to be liked and I want others to know that I like them.  I use to try so hard to find SOMETHING good about others even if they annoyed the crap out of me because I desperately didn't want to be rejected.  My altruistic service to others was coated in a fine sense of selfishness.

For whatever reason, every trial in my life has left me alone.  It has left me with little to no support.  It has left me with the sense of rejection and the thought that I have to deal with life all on on my own.

I get so wrapped up in my situation, that I forget the truth...the truth that we're never truly alone.  Even when people hurt you (which inevitably will happen - we're all human and we all make mistakes), God never forsakes us.

Why have I forgotten this truth?  Why have I failed to realize that I'm not alone?

Because the enemy is so crafty.  The enemy has a way of taking bits of truth and twisting them to where the lie seems to be nothing but reality and nothing but absolute truth.  It's like a string that becomes so twisted and manipulated that it's hard to find where the truth begins and where the lie ends.  It becomes a big ol' tangled mess.

My life has felt like a big ol' tangled mess for a really long time.  I've been so focused on this knotted up string of lies in my mind and moods that I forget that God has every capability and want to unravel what my feeble self cannot manage.

I want to learn things fast and want to do them now.  However, unraveling knots takes both time and patience.