I constantly get on myself for not being like everyone else. This is a DAILY struggle for me and Facebook makes it that much more prevalent in my life. I see people who have already finished their degrees in the "average" time it takes - I have not. I see people having babies - I have not. I see people who are doing great things in ministry - I have not. I look at others and see all the things I have not done. I see people living out their lives, healthy and happy - I on the other hand must struggle with the torrents of PMDD. Why, oh why do we do this to ourselves? Why am I so insecure in who I am that I think it would be that much better to be in someone else's shoes when quite possibily they're thinking they'd like to be in my shoes (if you are...trust me, you don't want this life or my mind!)ugh!
"Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body." I Corinthians 12:15
I often times think I don't have anything to offer to anyone...especially the church. Being involved in music for so long, I thought that was my "calling". I thought that was my ministry. Once I got hurt, I didn't want anything to do with music for quite a long time. I had conditioned myself to think the hurt came from the music I was apart of and creating. I see the wonderful talent I'm surrounded by and think I'll never be able to do that and I'll never be able to live up to that. I use to want to write music. Oh, how I had a desire to write music...to be able to express my inner most emotions in a beautiful way - now that takes TALENT. The only song I ever wrote was called "Storm" and its an instrumental piece and it got torn apart by a peer because it never modulates. You would think after going to school to be a music major for 4+ years I would know what the heck I'm doing. I don't know chord progressions, I can't play the guitar, I can't improvise. I'm scared to death to improvise! I can read music, though. So what do I do with that? Just lay it to rest in the back corners of my closet collecting dust like I've done with my clarinet?
"The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable" I Corinthians 2:21-22
Indispensable? Really? How can we make other people feel like this? Because I know I certainly feel dispensable rather than INdispensable! That is what I want to do. Make people feel special and loved and let them know they're not alone and that God is there for them no matter what and that even if they feel no one on this earth loves them...I do! I want to build other people up and praise them for their accomplishments even if they think they're small and insignificant. That's what we are called to do.
"But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." I Corinthians 12:24-26
So, why do we so often throw people to the side when things get tough? Do we not want to allow people into our lives or do we not want to take the time to get intimate in others lives? If this is what we're called to do, why aren't we doing it?
We should be readily available to give to others before they even have to ask.
We should be readily available to pour out love, kindness and encouragment instead of judgement, bitterness, and hate.
We should be readily available to reach across the aisle and hold hands with each other...in the good times and in the bad.
I can't hold your hand unless you're willing to hold my hand too.
0 comments:
Post a Comment